I'm Not A Morning Person

I'm Not A Morning Person

Hello, this is Pennie. As some of you may have gathered, I run the show at Wifflis. Given that I ooze like a skunk and have the work ethic of a senior citizen sloth, it’s a miracle anything happens. Somehow, things do move forward, so I’d like to use this blog category to tell you about what happens behind the scenes, and complain about the plebeians I “work” with. I’ve also heard “girl bosses” are popular these days, so I’m really just piggybacking on that trend to benefit my blog. Hope you’ll enjoy these articles as much as girls love taking pictures of their unicorn lattes!


I'm Not A Morning Person

Pennie Logo

How do you like your walk to work?

In general, most of my travel time is spent perched on the humonster’s shoulder. That being said, the actual process of going to work is fine. I waddle away to work at the slow pace I dictate, while humonster picks up whatever surprises I leave along the way. She gets a little too excited when we run into fellow canine nuggets, and even takes pictures of them that she tucks away into a folder on her phone. She then posts these pictures on MY company’s Instagram page, and I can’t understand why nobody calls her out on the creepy vibe that floats over this whole process. I’ll just let it slide, as long as I don’t have to interact with any of them, and maintain free access to the treat bag.

Pennie Laptop

How do you spend your first hour at work?

This girl isn’t really into the nitty gritty things that involve typing or using the phone. Or doing anything for anyone but myself. I am a millennial after all. But believe me, dealing with humonster and her office neighbors all day IS work. Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve started an accessories line, or become a full fledged zoo keeper.

Pennie office couch

First, I run into our office to double check that my toys and more importantly, food, are intact. One of my serfs, Kacie, thinks I run in there to say hello to her, so I give her a sniff to avoid hurting her feelings. I need my troops to continue worshiping me the way hipsters do with almond milk. Once that’s done, I have a snack and settle in for the first of my 5 morning naps.

To Be Continued...

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